FRA Relays 2009 - ShUOC finish 23^rd in 4 Hours 10 minutes and 3 seconds, beating Edinburgh Uni in the process! Race report.

Cambridge City Race - Results here.

SHI's - Several Shuocers are competing in this years SHI's. more info here

MTBO-WOC - Congratulations to Lucy Harris and Helen Clayton for being selected to represent Great Britain at the World Mountain-Bike-Orienteering champs (MTBO-WOC) In Israel this August. They are both currently hunting hard for sponsorship so they can get out to Israel,so if you can help or think you know anyone who could help, contactshuoc@shef.ac.uk Helen will also be competing in the European Junior MTBO Championships!

LAMM 2009 - Report

BUCS - 3rd & 4th Mens Individual- Marcus Pinker and Chris Smithard. 1st & 2nd Novice Laura Cutress and Charli Hunt. Winners of the Beer Race and 3rd Mens Relay. Well done everyone!

Noon Stones Fell Race- 2nd Man Callum Gilhooley and 1st Lady Zanthe Wray! Well done.

British Orienteering Championships - 27 Feb-1st March - 2nd Mens Premier Relay and 3rd Womens Short Relay plus other amazing results. Go ShuOOOOOOOOOOC! Results

Tigger Tor- 25th January 09. 10miles race part of the Totley Series. 3rd and 4th Man Marcus Pinker and Callum Gilhooley and 2nd Lady Zanthe Wray. 2nd Mens team prize too!!!

Gravy Pud Race- 7th December 08. A lovely 5.5mile run in the peaks (near Glossop). John Rocke 2nd, Rob Little 3rd, Zanthe Wray 1st Woman, cakes had by all.

Aviemore- 7th to 14th Sept 08. Awesome time spent by 25 ShUOC members in the Scottish Highlands

Chase Challenge- 14th/15th June. Click here for results.

Dave and Lucy's Report of their training in Goteborg here

Want to know what went on at the AGM? Click here

JK 2008- Report here

BUSA 2008 -Results here

ShUOC 7 (William) Hills Race -Neill Barton wins

ShUOC Fell Race -Schorah wins -results here

OMM report - by Wil Spain - here

Triathletes don't wear bras but wil does-Read Wil's report on the Helvellyn Triathlon here

ShUOC are British Relay champions!!! - The boys bring home the gold medal while the girls pick up a silver - awaiting full report

Lamm Report- Lucy Harris see here

AGM Report 2008- Nic Barber

'A tale of woe, broken dreams, drowning of sorrows, and nudity'

23rd April 2008.
Place: The upper room at BB's, The upper room of the Red Deer, The Devonshire Cat, Leadmill, assorted eateries on the way home.

The waiter (who looked like Dimitrios from 'Casino Royale') looked worried as only 10 of us had arrived by 6.10. However, after much faffing, everyone turned up to fill, (much like the last supper, and this would rival it) the upper room at BB's. Wine had been bought, and was then consumed with pasta, pizza and garlic bread.

John left to go and watch the football, Nic ran to the IC. Rhys turned up. The rest of us proceeded to The Red Deer. Everyone got beer, and settled into the upper room for a speech from the retiring Cap'n Wil-beard that will go down in the annuls of time alongside those of Luther-King and Lincoln. Although it is debatable that theirs went down in history because they had their penis exposed 3 times during the course of the speech...

Cards were given to Wil, for being captain, and Andy for organising the chasing sprint. There then followed much banter and the small matter of electing the officers for 2008/2009:

Captain – Bridge stood against Gaz, just to piss him off. Gaz won by default, seeing as 'the Vom' will not be a student next year. Gaz bared his bum in victory, as Charli wouldn't let him remove his clothes.

Secretary – Lizi stood. And won.

Social Sec – Lucy stood. In the interest of competition, Nic was forced to stand, and made a poor speech before conceding defeat, allowing Lucy to win by default.

Treasurer – Faz said something about numbers. Loz mentioned she got A* at GCSE maths, and A at A-Level. Faz kept his clothes on, thank god, and won.

Coach – Schorah stood and said something about O-Cat files and running and training and winning BUSA. Hoddy was forced up and said something about how he'll be working all next year and so wasn't too keen on being coach. Schorah won. He also promised Nic that the latter would win BUSA next year. He failed to mention which class...

Event Organiser – Sian said something about wanting to organise the ShUOC event. And so will do. She also promised Cake. I think.

Webmaster – The most hotly contested position of the night. Neill said he wanted to do it as he can already. Loz said she was drunk and spends time on the internet a lot. Charli said she'd get Gaz to help her and would keep the website updated. Charli won, and so became web-mistress.

Kit person – Ingrid said she'll have a cellar next year for keeping manky kit and the millions of tents we'll inherit in, so inherits said manky kit.

Development Officer – Neill said he fancied doing something, so made a speech before saying he'd do sod-all once he'd been voted in.

Publicity Officer – By this point everyone wanted more beer, so Nic was given this with little competition.

Faz is given the position of 'Gay Liaison officer.' We hope to hear about his gay liaisons over the year. Loz, having stood for most positions, is labelled 'Sheep Shagger.' Nic is 'MILF liaison,' as proposed by Dave.

Wil and Gaz stood on chairs for a 'ceremonial' handing over of power. Both had their boxers removed. Edwards tells us all that Lizi and Neill are now an item, thinking that this is breaking news.

We leave the Red Deer several pints later at 10pm, and go to the Dev Cat for more beer/cider. We befriend a scared looking man as 'ShUOC member for the night' before we leave for Leadmill.

In Leadmill much cheap bottles are consumed and silly dancing ensues. Some don't make it, some leave early. A hardcore few stick it out towards the bitter end.

Faz, Naomi and Nic drop Zanthe off and walk home via Pizza Pronto for burgers, and jumping on hedges outside Sheffield High. It takes the best part of 1 and a half hours to complete the 2 mile journey. James finds blood on his clothes, Bridge and Rhys have 'the world's biggest kebab' on the way home.

Wil spends the next morning sobering up so he can drive the club to Hartcliff Hill fell race later that day. Liz and Charli post on the forum about the severity of their hangovers. People try and track down things that were lost and generally vow to never drink again.

And so concludes the ShUOC AGM of 2008.

JK report- Nic Barber

Being one of the top 2 Universities in the country when it comes to Orienteering, around 30 members of Sheffield University Orienteering Club (ShUOC), ranging from novices to members of the British junior and senior squads, headed to the Jan Kjellström International Orienteering Festival 2008. Held over the Easter weekend, this year in south-east England, the 'JK,' as it is more commonly known, is one of the largest Orienteering festivals in the country, attracting 3000 competitors of all ages and abilities to enjoy some top quality orienteering in world class locations.

Orienteering comprises of running and navigation. Competitors compete against each other using a compass and a specialised map to navigate between controls they have to collect in the correct order in which they are shown on the map in the fastest time. Competitors race against people of the same age and gender over elite, long or short distances. At large festivals like the JK, novice classes are available for those new to the sport.

Day 1 took the form of a sprint race around the University of Surrey, Guildford. Sprint races are run over short distances of 2-3km around buildings and park lands, campuses and city centres being the preferred venues. They produce fast, exciting racing that, due to the wide variety of route choice between controls, is technically demanding. Solid performances with few mistakes saw Racheal Elder pick up bronze in the woman's elite course, and Dave Schorah and John Rocke, separated by a second, place highly on the men's 20-and-under elite course.

Days 2 and 3 saw competition on classic courses at Leith Hill and Ashdown Forest. Classic Orienteering takes place in runnable forest and moorland areas, and is based more on endurance and technical ability than sprint Orienteering, with long and elite courses covering up to 17km. The total times from both days are added up to produce the overall winner. On two days that saw a mixture of hail, snow, wind and sun, Rachael Elder once again finished 3 rd in the women's Elite class. John Rocke picked up bronze in the men's 20-and-under elite class. Club Coach Andy Llewellyn won the men's 21-and-over long class by a massive 13 minutes, and newcomer to the sport Zanthe Wray picked up silver in the women's novice class, only 7 seconds behind the winner. Good performances from the rest of the club saw members beat personal goals or rivals, producing many reasons to be pleased with the weekend's efforts.

However the weekend wasn't over yet, as Easter Monday saw the frantic relays take place at a snowy Eridge Old Park. The ShUOC Women's team, made up of Laura Daniel, Helen Winskill and Rachael Elder, finished 3 rd in the women's elite class. The Men's Elite team, made up of John Rocke, Wil Spain, Andy Llewellyn and Marcus Pinker finished in a strong 6 th place against teams comprising of British and World champions – John winning the first leg ahead of Kristiansand

OK – the 'Real Madrid' of Orienteering! ShUOC Rambo 1,2 &3, made up of Phil Winskill, Dave Schorah and Rob Little, won the Men's short relay by 5 minutes to round off an impressive weekend of 2 golds, 1 silver and 5 bronzes for the University.

OMM report - Wil Spain

The OMM 2007 – the highlights

FRIDAY

1. On the way we missed our motor way junction by 3 junctions.
2. After bodging our way to Dumfries we got lost going the right way to the camp site.
3. It was ridiculously cold for the whole of Friday night, we had tent frost.

SATURDAY (day1)

1. We had to start at 8.15, which meant getting up at 6 to be in time for breakfast and poos.
2. The first 3 hours of running went really well and fast. It rained slightly after 2 hours then we were in clouds and wind after that.
3. I then lost my ability to use my brain (I should have put my jacket on an hour before like tom). Tom dresses me then I eat all my days’ food and some of breakfast.
4. We then set off in the wrong direction; it takes me a while to figure this out as I still can’t think properly from cold, and we lose 15 minutes.
5. We spike a kilometre long bearing to control nine.
6. We then go down the steepest hill side I have ever been down in my life. Really. It was steeper than Grindslow. Then up something pretty much equally as steep on the other side of the valley.
7. We make another mistake in the clag to control 10 and lose 10 more minutes.
8. Then hobble into the finish.

OVERNIGHT CAMP

1. We eat all our food, put all our clothes on and put the tent up.
2. I realise I have no skin left on the back of my left heel, and a small amount remaining on my right heel.
3. Then we drink our whiskey and watch people descending into the finish looking unhappy and go to sleep.
4. Wake up to go to the loo at about 1. The wind has now progressed to be ridiculous and someone has kicked our guy ropes making the tent fall on our legs. We ban torches in the tent as it is upsetting to see how wet it is inside.
5. Wake up again at around 4. With a strange floaty feeling. Look outside to find we are surrounded by 2 to 3 inches of water. Tom says to ignore it and goes back to sleep. I patch my feet up then spoon him for warmth.
6. At 5.30 we got up, poured the water out of the tent and ring the water out of our sleeping bags and other belongings (to save weight). This doesn’t work.
7. I realise I ate most of my breakfast yesterday. So does tom.

DAY  2

1. Starts well (the weather is clearing up when we start at 7).
2. Continues well, by control 4 we have made the 7 minutes up on the rest of the field and are now winning. We tell a camera man of our complicated plan to win, including all the details about how we are running really fast and plan to continue to do so without getting lost.
3. We finally lose everyone from behind us on the second last control, tom shouts abuse at me to run faster, I shout back that my feet are broken and that I can’t. He runs off. I swear.
4. After a very upsetting last 3 miles we actually do win. (yay!)
5. We then go through kit check, Lucy is at the finish already (having retired after some trouble with the cold and blue lips the day before). She informs us our other tent with everything in it is also flooded, and that it wasn’t warm in that tent either last night, as it is now more of a puddle than a tent. Tom’s phone is now dead and all our warm clothes are soaked.
6. We met Oli’s mum
7. We get prizes. (yay again!)
8. We all go home to Sheffield and get dirty burgers on the way. Mmm.

Triathletes don't wear bras but wil does- The Helvelyn Triathlon through the eyes of Wil Spain

Triathletes don’t wear bras.

I recently tricked myself into doing Helvelyn Triathlon in the lakes this summer, this is the magical story of what happened.

At some point last winter I decided it would be nice to give a triathlon a go, as I am ok at running and biking and could swim quite competitively when I was at school (Primary school mind you). I then went onto the internet looking for a nice first triathlon I could do over summer, just to see if there were any nice races which would be good for a first timer.

Unfortunately the first one that came up was titled “Helvellyn Triathlon” and was accompanied with “Part of the 10 toughest UK triathlons series”. The description also included “it is a 1 mile swim in Ullswater, 38 mile bike ride including the steep bit of Kirkstone pass and then an 8 mile fell race up and down Helvellyn”. I got excited, giggled a bit and hit the big enter button.

A few months later, I was in a wet suit, in a cold lake, in a line of 500 or so other people with no idea at all of what I am doing (I missed my only practice triathlon because the people who run the trains in this country are shit). I had been told and had read that the starts to triathlons are nasty places when everyone tries to punch and drown you, but this is a wild exaggeration. It was a little bit disorientating and there were some feet in unexpected places, but on the whole I quite enjoyed the swim, despite having completely no idea where I was going for most of it.

The transition area (bit of field where you get changed) was a bit of a disaster, as I couldn’t stand up properly after the swim, and put my number on backwards or something, meaning that I had to fight with my bra thing (I’ll come onto that in a bit) on the way out, so I lost a bit of time.

The biking was rather picturesque, and for the most part quite nice, until after 25 miles or so, you get to Kirkstone pass, aka the struggle. It is quite fair to say that this is steep and big, and it destroyed my quads, but I did make up quite a few places on people with expensive bikes here, which made me happy. After this, the route descends back to Glenridding, back through the transition bit and then out onto the fells.

I had been looking forwards to this bit as I actually knew what I was doing for the first time in the race, but unfortunately I soon remembered how fell running is actually silly and painful as soon as I hit a steep hill. I caught up a fair few people on the first steep ascent up to red tarn, and a couple more up on the way up Swirral edge and along the ridge, then finally had a descent to leg it down. Which I did.

My feet did not appreciate it. Neither did my shoes. After rapidly losing most of the height and a good few places in the first mile or two the skin on both of my heels pretty much gave up, as did my fell shoes, and I had a bit of a crash and was reduced to a fast jog / hobble / bleed. After a while I decided it was just pebbles in my shoes and ran quickly for the last mile or so, but on finishing was proven quite wrong by two massive leaking blisters.

In the end I was 109th out of 500 or so starters which isn’t bad for a first go, but I will be trying it again so that I am less than an hour behind the winner and not almost beaten by a veteran woman (a 40+ year old)

A few lessons I learnt:
1. Swimming in a crowd in a big lake is disorientating, but quite fun
2. Triathletes generally have very expensive shiny bikes, and some also have helmets to match.
3. Always tie up your fell shoes properly even if you are in a rush, or your feet will fall off.
4. There are some ridiculously fit people who do these races
5. Triathletes do not wear triathlon bras, it is a lie and you will look silly if you do wear one. Look at this fool:

Thanks to Gareth and everyone else who shouted at me on the way round.

ShUOC best at drinking @ Cambridge Alc-o

We assembled at Goodwin bright an early on Saturday morning. (Well the early part is true) I was allocated to be in a car with Dave driving and his arrival was certainly stamped with his mounting the curb at about 30 miles an hour. Unfortunately for Rhys, Will and I it was a sigh of things to come.

Several disconcerting swerves and large amounts of nervous laughter later we arrived at the event, albeit with a power slide heading straight for a metal post. We were a little early and that being so we seemed to disturb some strange man sized worm like animals. By this time other Universities had arrived, the weather had improved and it was time to race. Most of the course was path running so all of ShUOC qualified for the semi-final with relative ease. Time for Wil and me to play on the children’s attractions. Unfortunately none of the girls qualified for the final but I think they had fun anyway. The boys fared better with good runs from Andy L, Dave H and Rhys securing three out of the allocated four places. They finished in that order so a ShUOC top three. Rhys was in a boo because the map was not accurate. Well done to Andy as he is still suffering from shin splints, hence him wearing some very attractive white football boot type things. Or maybe he was just trying to impress Becca.

TIME FOR THE ALC-O!

A strong field of 21 lined up to do three loops and 4 drinks. Bitter, larger, cider then punch. I say a strong field; people on either side of me didn’t have a compass thinking they wouldn’t need one. Suffice to say they did rubbish. My first pint went down quickly but not a quick as Wil’s who soon picked up his map and ran off. EVERYONE followed him and as we completed what we thought was the first loop and arrived back at the drinks station we realised the map had been tampered with and north was south and south was north. But, Rhys had somehow got it right and ended up in first even though he didn’t have a map. By this time the field had spread out. It was time for the larger. Wil shouting “right I’m avin this!” and drinking it in seconds firmly placed him in the lead. Rhys was still wandering around with no map. The subsequent loops and cider went down without a hitch and Wil stormed the final leg and punch to make him the winner. As Dave and I raced in he was being sick. I was second, Dave third and Rhys after vomiting into his punch and drinking it finished fourth. ShUOC top 4. Might even have been 5 but not sure exactly where Dickinson came. Sarah did a massive vom, and then Kronenberg man was born.

We drove the cars into Cambridge. Dumped our gear at Hamish’s house (legend) and went for curry. Tom Bridge shouted abuse and tried to entice Ruth from Oxford to sit with him. The old fishing line technique didn’t work. Food was spicy, and I stole Wil’s popadom.

It was then time for the club. Well I say a club, more like a room with a mirror and what appeared to be a school desk with some alcohol on. I think it was about £378 for a half. Gaz, Dave H and I went to the pub before the prize giving, Rhys and Tom B bought some vodka. Wil downed a bottle of wine. Hazel tried to make me dance but I was too drunk to stand up properly. She then asked the Cambridge types where we could go that wasn’t s*!t. We all left in search of a real club. I exited with 8 stolen coat hangers dangling form my neck. We ended up in a pub. Wil, Rhys and I decided it was time to try and steal a punting boat. But, not before Rhys had convinced himself that the colleges in Cambridge kept live lions in the grounds. Much 20 foot high spiked fences were negotiated along with a fair share of walls. Rhys couldn’t be arsed with all the climbing so decided to jump a 10 foot wide moat. Very impressive. We were un-successful in stealing a boat so wandered back to our luxury floor accommodation.

Morning arrived so it was time for a hearty spoons fried breakfast. Yum. After the 5 mile walk back to the cars we were treated to Gaz’s car not starting.

The drive home with Dave was certainly thrilling. I awoke to find the car doing about 70 mph, skidding sideways, on the wrong side of the road, heading straight for an oncoming Landrover. Apparently there was a pheasant in the road. We arrived home alive which signalled the end of Cambridge for another year.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. “Add me to face book ARMSTRONG!”

September - Aviemore Training Week - A report by Will

The SHUOC Aviemoor(aaaviiimuouuuouuuuurrreeee)Week. (by Wil)

Day 1. Friday morning, 9.30 am(I think), for the first time on record me and Rhys are the first to arrive at a pickup point.

9.32ish, hazel mat and Jon arrive; hazel sets the tone for the week by parking in a small wall in the car park. Much hilarity for me and Rhys.

9. something, everyone else arrives everyone tries to get in toms Volvo but wont fit, some are relegated to the depths of the metro.

10.30ish, we have made it over snake pass alive and are wondering why the metro is still in front, 5 minutes later everyone overtakes on the motorway.

2pm stop for pies.

Things in the metro are getting silly. Tom takes to wearing goggles in the car and singing the A team theme tune to locals as we pass.

about 6 arrive in aviemoor, find out that through lack of enthusiasm for anything to do with being organized I will be sharing a bed with matt for the week. Am pleased.

about a minute later decide that if I jump on the balcony it will collapse. 2 seconds after that regret my decision to try out my previous decision, incurring a large bruise to my leg. And some joinery for the owners of the balcony.

There is some swimming in the river, which it is discovered, is a little mankey and cold. Golf balls from last year are found.

Later in evening drink about 3 times more beer than expected between everyone, are encouraged to THE VAULT ( a hole in the floor in aviemoor) by Gareth who promptly injures himself for the week. Bier Diour man is born. Gareth is impressed with the washboardieness of tom E’s stomach. He says so.

Realize I will actually be sharing a bed with matt and realize its not actually great. We invent the safety pillow.

Day 2.

11 man relay with some complicated rules about who can run when in some very nice Scottish forest. I am on first leg and am surprisingly pleased that my serious training of using a compass once this year pays off with a good run.

We try to socialize with Edinburgh but are not elite enough (or sober enough) for their team talk.

Edinburgh win. SHUOC are fourth (This may be a bit incorrect, but close). We are the first team from south of the border and are given a trophy. Rhys and I claim it. We toddle off back to the chalets eat some things and get drunk again.

Day 3.

Most of SHUOC go to an orienteering event, it is good. Tom E and I go for a monstrous run. 4 ¼ hours about 6 peaks and some streaking later we get back a bit hungry, tired and blistered.

If memory serves me well then we went home, ate things and got a bit tipsy again. Carling man is born.

Day 4

Swimming followed by Orienteering in Inshriach ??spelling?? south. My legs are angry. Quite a good course and forest. Very nice.

I think this was followed by the drinking games night, the complicated one where there is lots of confusion and things. Ask Gareth for details.

Day 5

Went for a run up cairngorm?? I think this was the right day. Again my legs are angry with me, as is my liver. Decide to descend as fast as I can, gain sore ankles, shins, knees and a big blister for my trouble but I am fastest off the hill woo!!! (I was however slowest to the top). Carling man goes for a run around the top. Some walkers in full mountain gear at the top seem a bit confused about what’s going on.

We play golf in the afternoon. Rhys is rubbish. I personally nearly hit 3 people, although I’m not sure what the total score of near hits were. Also I’m not too sure golf is about trying to hit people with balls but it seems fun. We get bored and go home about ¾ of the way through. (I think some people finished the round, all be it about 3 times over par).

Day 6

Go to Roseisle for some sand dune running and general map training. Again my legs are angry, and I bottle out of some of the running. Do lots of sitting around by the sea. And lots of swimming, apparently the north sea is quite warm at this time of year. We record a scene from Baywatch. Another complicated drinking game happens and everyone gets drunk again.

Day 7.

It rains. Lots. We play crazy golf. In the afternoon some of us go for a run on the hills in the rain. Again get funny looks off people. I wuss out before the last peak (again my legs were angry). Tom E and I go back and Rob, Rhys and Joe mercer finish the run properly.

We get back and everyone else has gone to Inverness for dirty burgers and things. They get back and everyone goes out drinking. Another Trip is made to the Vault, I leave early with everyone else who is driving (although I was very happy to leave once they played bastard scissor sisters for the 3rd time that night). Everyone else gets more drunk. Gareth sweats a lot.

Day 8

We all go home. I am surprised as to how fast tom bridges Volvo can actually go. The metro is nearly squashed by a truck, but we make it back to Sheffield in time to go to corporation for Rob’s birthday and to invent ironing board stair bobsled.

Marvelous.

Cheers to everyone for the whole week, was great. Especially matt ;)

Fell Running Report by Rob Little

After a seasons racing I managed to win the British U23 fell running championships. Actually this category was only introduced this year so I’m the inaugural winner! Here’s a bit of a report about some of the races:

Slieve Bearnagh Northern Ireland. April 1st
Short race: 4miles, 2700ft climb
Yes those statistics are true and not an April fool joke by the organisers! It’s not an exaggeration to say there was no flat part anywhere along the route, which started up a pathless heath side before going up and down 2 hills that were so steep and rocky you were walking for much of the course. Therefore it wasn’t my most enjoyable race of the year. However, that was made up for by the party afterwards; fellrunners+pub=much guiness drunk! There was even more amusement caused due to the fashion sense of some dark peak members!

Anniversary Waltz. Newlands Valley Cumbria April 22nd
Medium Race: 11.75miles, 3600ft
This was the most popular race of the year, in fact the near 700 starters made this look more like the national cross country than a fell race. Just as well I sprinted at the start to be in the leading group through the gate out of the first field, otherwise I can imagine the queuing to be awful. The route was a very runnable horseshoe shape taking in the peaks of Robinson, Hindscarth, Dale Head and Cat Bells. Unfortunately though up the first steep climb I was just too tired to latch onto the two local Borrowdale runners in front, so I had to check I was going the right way and couldn’t take advantage of their local knowledge.

Dollar. (East of Stirling) July 1st
Medium race: 9.4miles, 3150ft
This race brought back happy memories of last years FRA relays which were held just west of here which Dark Peak managed to win. As a team we were also successful here; more beer. I remember the race for being at the time of year when the country was experiencing a heatwave not uncommon to an African desert, and for everyone being shocked that England went out of the football world cup even though you new they were never going to win a penalty shoot out.

Creag Dhubh Newtonmore Scotland. August 5th
Short Race: 4.5miles,1225ft
This was a completely different event again, not just because it was the shortest (won in 28mins ish, me 30mins ish) but because it was part of the local highland games. If you’ve never been to such an event try to as it is a real big carnival, with events including caber tossing, Scottish dancing and bagpipe playing with some track races too. Though the repetitive firing of a cannon (twice every minute?!) to celebrate the parading of the local clan as I warmed up was a bit unnerving! Going all that way just for 30mins might sound a bit silly, but don’t worry I got my monies worth by going orienteering on some of Scotlands best areas the day after.

Some more experienced fellrunners may have realised I’ve only included short and medium races here, unlike the full senior champs where long races (over 12 miles) count to your score too. Therefore, I’ve still got much to concentrate on in the next few years and hopefully get a bit closer to the ‘big boys’.

23rd - 25th June - World Champs Selection Races - Oli, Matt and Rach selected for WOC

The World Champs selection races were held over the weekend in Denmark. Big congratulations to Oli, Matt and Rach for being selected for the WOC team. Oli will run the long and relay, Matt the middle and Rach the middle and long. Congrats also to Sheffield based Jenny who returns to the team and will run the long.  Results

23rd May - Spring Cup Event 4 - Rivelin - Craney coming from behind

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Rivelin is not a nice place to orienteer. It still surprises me when people come back from orienteering on Rivelin in a boo saying things like "I hate orienteering". It's as if they didn't know it was going to be like that. To be fair though, I think Rivelin gets a bit of a bad rep. If the map was right it would be possible to find controls without just guessing and if the vegetation was right it may be possible to pick routes which kept you in the "nice" bits.

Anyway, the race was won by Matt Crane, 5 mins ahead of Neil Northrop who was 5 mins ahead of Rhys Findlay-Robinson. Crane now has 2 wins, while Northrop has 1 win and 3 2nds. Whoever wins the last race (Eccy Woods next Thursday) wins the series...

21st May - Crich District Event - A Jolly Jaunt

Crich is one of them places no-one knows how to say. It can rhyme with prick, bitch or lychee (well, the first bit of lychee anyway - I'm convinced that there aren't any actual words that rhyme with the other way of saying Crich). I digress. Andy Llewellyn bigged it up as "being one of the East Midlands finest areas". It probably was, but it wasn't exactly nice. Rain, rocks, hills and a few nettles meant the likes of Findlay-Robinson and Gaz didn't exactly enjoy themselves. But if you managed to stay boo-free it was possible to enjoy it, as shown by Ben Carter (Brown 5th) in his 6th event ever, Andy Llewellyn (Brown 2nd) who pissed on everyone except for Matt Crane (Brown 1st). Lizzie Adams (Blue 12th) has had better days but who cares, she's going to JWOC.

Results

21st May - World Ranking Event - Rowney Warren - Champion Neil!

Some might say that there's an advantage to racing in your home terrain. Well it certainly worked in Neil's favour today as he flew round the world ranking middle distance race in Rowney Warren to win with an 11 second lead over european champs team member GG. In doing so he not only earned valuable world ranking points but also won himself 6 bottles of special brew "Double Punched Disoriented Beer" mmmmm. Rach took 5th spot in the ladies and Blanka came in 11th.

Results

20th May - British Sprint Champs - Silver and Bronze

The British Sprint Champs was held this weekend in the concrete monstrosity of Milton Keynes. To our pleasent surprise the assembly area was in a grassy amphitheatre and the courses were excellently planned. Rach and Neil qualified easily for the A-final coming 2nd and 3rd in their heats, whilst Blanka secured a place in the B-final.

The A-finals were a spectator fest as we ran round half the course in full view everyone. Rach was in 2nd place for most of the course but was just "pip"ped into bronze by 1 second. Neil managed to run with the wrong SI card (tut tut) so the commentators had no idea how he was doing until he finished... he'd had a storming run and secured silver medal ahead of britsh squad member Nicke Barable.

Results

15th-17th April - JK - Champions!!! ShUOC Men Put Ghost of British Behind

For the first time in ShUOCs history (apparently, we haven't actually seen the trophy yet to prove it), ShUOC have won the JK trophy. Once again it was to be a memorable show down between Edinburgh and Sheffield, but this time it was almost an exact reverse of what happened last year.

After some excellent recent performances Dave Sprot was drafted into the first team for the first time. It was decided that Neil Northrop could be trusted to punch all of his controls. Oli was to run 3rd and Craney the glory as a direct swap of last year. The conspiracy theorists were having a field day as the rumoured BOF directive against ShUOC reared it's ugly head. Firstly, they tried to make us non-competitive. Then they tried to convince Neil he'd punched a control wrong. It was all sorted out in the end. Neil in fact had run a storming 1st leg to come back with the lead and some way ahead of the main rivals - INT and EUOC. The pressure was on Dave. He ran strongly but made some misses to set Oli off with EUOC but over 3 mins behind INT. This was going to be tight. Oli had a blinding run, doing the fastest 3rd leg, catching INT on the run-in and taking 90 secs out of EUOC. Craney set off then with BJ for INT, and being chased down by Murray for EUOC. Unfortunately BJ crocked himself so it became a 2 horse race. Murray ran yet another storming final leg, but fortunately for ShUOC, Craney had a good run too and held him off to take the win. Then we got drunk.

Meanwhile, the 2nd team fared well to finish in 10th. Little Rob had a strong first leg coming back 10th before a blinder by Rhys Findlay-Robinson saw them shoot up to 5th. Hoddy and Schnitzy then finished the job off with aplomb. The 3rd team had a mixed day coming in 27th. Mat Dickinson had got them off to a decent start, before Dave Bolton flew round 2nd leg. Unfortunately Gaz Little took 20mins on a 100m leg on the last leg.

It wasn't to be another medal for the womens team. Lizzie withdrew due to shin splints, giving Sarah O'Neill the chance to replace her. Hazel had a good first leg coming back 9th. Sarah handed over to Rach in 13th and Rach pulled them up to 10th.

Individual

4th seemed to be order of the weekend. Rach Elder (W21E) and Matt Crane (M21E) both had decent weekends to finish 4th. Rach especially got some glory by being pretty much the only Brit to beat Heather Monro this year, and won the 1st day. But it was Hazel Tant (W20E) who will have been most pleased with her fantastic 4th after coming 3rd on Day 1 and winning some flowers. Quality stuff. There's an exception to every rule though, and this time it was Oli Johnson (M21E) who, after a disappointing 1st day (6th) had a blinding 2nd day (2nd) to finish 2nd overall. ShUOC seemed to revel in the Yorkshire terrain. Neil Northrop picked up his best results to date to come in a brilliant 7th on M21E picking up 5th on Day 1 on the way. Dave Sprot's 12th on Day 1 (M21E) raised a few eyebrows too and earned him his JK Gold medal in the relay as it emerged. Rob Little also had a good weekend finishing 22nd on M21E. Andy Llewellyn was our top junior male coming in 6th on M20E. Hoddy is probably worth a mention for winning day 2 of M21S (the S is for short) by 6 minutes. Alas, he didn't pick up a pot because he'd run elite on the (short) first day.

2nd April - British Relay Champs - So Neil Yet So Far

Reigning Champions and with a team compromising the 3rd, 4th and 11th finishers in M21E from the previous day, ShUOC were surely hot favourites to win today. But there was a stronger field than ever this year and in the melee of 1st leg, Neil Northrop unfortunately omitted his 9th control. Wounder. He came back in the chasing pack and, of course, Oli didn't know of his plight at the time and flew round 2nd leg to set Matt off in the 'lead'. Matt, of course, did know by now and thoroughly enjoyed himself in the forest and finished '3rd'.

But it wasn't all doom and gloom. ShUOC's women were on song once again and took bronze in the women's premier. Lizzie Adams, form woman, won the 1st leg and a strong 2nd leg from Hazel Tant coming back 4th teed up Rachael Elder who had the fastest time of the day to pick up our first medal in this competition for some time.

The men's 2nd team also figured well and had the added pressure of having to retain the £5 trophy against SYO. Chris Sellens was still feeling a bit under the weather but 'took one for the team' coming back 20th before 2 storming legs from Rhys and Hoddy brought them through the field to finish up in 8th and within that all important 5 minutes of SYO. ShUOC's 3rd team also ran well to finish in 14th place with Dave Sprot the hero coming back 5th on 1st leg.

Results

1st April - British Long Champs - Lizzie's Might Hits Dizzy Heights

Today was a successful day all round for ShUOC in a mud bath in the south. Star of the show was Lizzie Adams who completely dominated the W20E class, leading from the 1st control, to take the victory by a whopping 4.5 minutes and become British Champion. As well as Lizzie's impressive feat ShUOC took bronze in all 3 of the other elite classes to end the day as Britain's most successful elite club. In M20E it was Rhys Findlay-Robinson coming 3rd, while in the big boys and girls classes, M21E and W21E, Matt Crane and Rach Elder took home bronze medals. Rachael had a strong run finishing tightly in amongst a pack of girls (lordy lordy) chasing Heather Monro. Matt had the lead for 3 different parts of the course but strong finishes from Jamie Stevenson and Graham Gristwood condemed him to 3rd. As well as the medalists, Oli Johnson put a scrappy start behind him to claw his way up to 4th place in M21E hot on the heels of Crane, while Neil Northrop finally got it right on the big scene finishing strongly in 11th and right in amongst the British Squad members. Hazel Tant also ran well to finish 7th on W20E.

In the non-elite classes ShUOC could celebrate 2 other winners. Dave Hodkinson's pledge to not run over 10km this year meant he earned a comfortable win in the M21S category. So comfortable in fact that he probably had time to spot one or two of the elusive Dartford Warblers out there. Andy Llewllyn, on the back of a long illness, showed signs of a return to form by winning the M20L course.

Results

24th-26th March - Spring Cup - Denmark

Once again it was "Spring Cup, Orienteering Wake Up". Well, it sure as hell did, but it should've looked out of the window, decided that it was cold and snowy, and gone back to bed. So it was that an impressively strong field were made to go out into the forests and battle against rather inclement conditions in the hope of gaining some early season glory.

The Night Sprint
Someone really should point out to the organisers that 6.4km at night is by no means a sprint race. The night sprint is usually a good laugh but often a bad idea given the bigger fish to fry over the rest of the weekend. Still, a good result here can give you an excuse for being rubbish the next day. Rhys Findlay-Robinson was pick of the ShUOC bunch with 23rd, and top Brit, in H20E.

Results

The Classic
Snow in the forest meant an early start was a bad thing. It was a good race though. In H21E1 (don't ask) Oli and Craney were seperated by a hairs breadth coming in 35th and 36th (and 2nd and 3rd Brits) respectively behind the highly acclaimed ex-ShUOC runner Jamie Stevenson who finished a marvellous 3rd. Meanwhile in H21E2, Northrop faired well to be 3rd Brit in 25th place. Another good ShUOC performance came from Lizzie Adams in D20E coming home as the top Brit in 21st place.

Results

The Relay
Today there was even more snow and coldness, and runners were delighted when it actually started to snow midway through the proceedings. ShUOCs representatives at the Spring Cup ran for many different teams today and all had fun. I'll let you trawl through the results yourselves.

Results

11th/12th March - BUSA - A mixed bag, but a chuffin good weekend

1st Edinburgh
2nd Sheffield
3rd Oxford

Simple as that. Doesn't quite tell the whole story though. Had a formal protest been upheld and an SI card lying somewhere in some snow been found, you could have swapped the top 2. But it wasn't to be. Clearly crossing uncrossable fences with purple lines along them is acceptable in some races and not others. However Edinburgh deserved their victory which was largely down to a dominant display in the womens class. The Sheffield men were victorious but a one-man-show by Murray Strain of Edinburgh was enough to clinch the overall title.

ShUOC leave BUSA probably as happy as Edinburgh though. The mens relay has always been the most prestigious race and carried the strongest sense of rivalry. Neil Northrop, Matt Crane and Oli Johnson did the job professionally and took the title back to Sheffield. The victory was all the more sweeter knowing that 3 hangovers + 3 fancy dress outfits beat 0 hangovers + 0 fancy dress outfits.

We also managed to get a gold, silver and bronze in the individual. Rachael Elder was the star with a dominant display in the womens class to take the gold for the umpteenth time. Oli Johnson had a run which normally would have taken gold - you can't ask for much more than that - but Murray had a great run to pip him to it. Matt Crane tootled round and picked up a bronze.

Then there's the beer race. We won that by about 3 lengths. Our 2nd team came 2nd (despite what the organisers tried to say).

Then there's the fancy dress: She-Ra (Elder), Mr Muscle (Schnitz), The Hulk (Kenneth), Rambo (Crane), Valderama (Steve) to name but a few. We certainly won that.

Also massive respect to everyone who hadn't even done a proper orienteering event before but pulled out some pretty heroic performances. Ben's time of 41 in the relay and Steve's 64 in particular were damn impressive.

So who truly won BUSA? Well, Edinburgh. But you know what I mean.

Lots of other banterous things happened too but I can't be bothered to write about them all (any of them in fact). By all means send me some stories and I'll post them up, or just natter about it on the forum.

Results

4th February - BUSA X-Country - Orienteers Show the Way

The wonder that is the University Athletics club decided against sending a mens team to the BUSA X-country in Stirling this year. Perhaps Rob Little and Andy Middleditch beating them all last year put them off. So it was largely left to orienteers to show the way again. Dave Sprot was the top Sheffield man (running for Hallam of course) coming an excellent 60th on the long course.

However it was Lizzie Adams who had ShUOCs run of the day coming a storming 40th (and 2nd Sheffield woman) on the womens long course.

Lizzie was over the moon and had the following to say, "It was a very foggy day in Stirling. The competition was great - lots of people! And the course was nice and hilly with lots of bumps, which is probably why we did ok! Ask Dave about the party - I got too drunk and can't remember much!"

Results

29th January - ShUOC District Event - Rivelin

Mark Bown was entrusted with the near impossible task of planning an enjoyable event on Rivelin that people would leave thinking, "My my that was good. I must come to the next event ShUOC host." Whilst not quite acheiving this, Mark was more successful than many expected and comments of "pretty good" and "not that bad" were being banded around the assembly area. Many other (too many to name) ShUOC members helped out with hanging, parking, registration, collecting, drawing the map etc. and it was all worth it because over 200 people came and ran and in doing so gave ShUOC some money. Rhys is an idiot for going to the wrong place and not arriving until 1.30pm.

The race itself didn't produce too many surprises. Oli Johnson won the Brown course running considerably faster than the usual 10mpks on Rivelin. Another notable result was James Furness marking a return to form with an impressive win on the Blue course.

Results

28th/29th January - British Night Champs and National Event 1 - Down South

A handful of ShUOC members who wanted to get as far away from helping out (let alone running) at Rivelin ventured down to Berkshire to run in either the British Night Champs or National Event 1 or both, citing measuring "early season form" and "running in the FCC" as a valid excuse.

I didn't run in the night champs as I found out that it was going to be dark and being in January was likely to be cold as well. Apparently it was quite nice but very quick. Gareth Little was the only ShUOCer to finish and came 2nd in the M20 class. Nice.

The following day was the National Event which was in some lovely forest with lots of holly bushes and a very difficult to read map. Matt Crane was narrowly pipped into 2nd place on M21L by Graham Gristwood, with James Hargreaves trebbling his January training by coming 18th. Lizzie Adams 4th, Gareth 8th and Jon Street 12th all managed to score some valuable FCC points in the M/W20 classes and all thoroughly enjoyed themselves.

21st/22nd January - 6 ShUOC wins in 1 weekend! - Clumber Regional Event & Warrior Weekend

Rach Elder and Matt Crane were professional orienteers this weekend. By winning the W21L and M21L courses at Clumber in 6.3 and 4.9mpks respectively, planner Andy Powell had to cough up £5 to each of them, more than covering the entry fee. In fact ShUOC had 2 other M21 winners. "How is that possible?" I hear you ask. Well, I'll tell you. Mat Dickinson won the M21S class (fortunately for him, faster than Rach on the same course) and Rhys Findlay-Robinson won the nancy-boys M21V class. Congratulations to both of them. Meanwhile, Lizzie Adams completed a ShUOC 1-2 on the W21L with Blanka Sengerova in 7th and Becky Kingdon in 8th. Gareth Little completed the ShUOC contingent present with 4th in JM5LFSDBAWKLFHNJ32DE2. Neil Northrop was notable by his absence saying he was "ill...and it had nothing to do with getting up too late".

Meanwhile, Oli Johnson knocked up a double victory in the Lake District at the Warrior weekend, winning a short race and then a long race (by some 20 minutes). All good.

Clumber results

Rivelin District Event - 29th January

Final Details

Directions
Parking in the car park at SK 281861 on Redmires Road on the outskirts of Sheffield.  From Sheffield take the A57 Manchester Rd to Crosspool and turn left onto Sandygate Rd, which becomes Redmires road.  The car park is after
about 2.5 miles on the left, just after The Sportsman pub.

Terrain
Rivelin is a mixture of sloping deciduous and coniferous forest, with a rich variety of runnability.  On a good day, there are excellent views out across the valley over the reservoirs.  

Courses
Courses range from White to Brown, with something available for everyone.

Map and timing
All maps should be pre-marked and bagged and courses will be using Sport Ident timing.

Times and fees are as usual for Sheffield events:
Registration 10:00-12:00.
Starts 10:30-12:30.
Courses close 14:30.
£4:00 Seniors, £1:00 Juniors/Students.  SI cards will be available for hire (50p).

More information
can be obtained by contacting Mark Bown on 0114 2662969

Sheffield Urban Long-O - 12th February

Start/finish will be at Neil's house - 227 Springvale Road.

I'll try and make it be around 27km/16km (winning times ~140mins/100mins).

It'll probably cost about £3 cos you'll get maps of:
Steel Bank
Endcliffe/Bingham/Whiteley
Eccy Woods
Millhouses
Graves Park
Gleadless Valley
Norfolk Park
and the University/Weston Park
(plus a photocopied OS map for the in between bits)
-and there might even be prizes.

I'll knock a start list up once I've got some entries.

Final details will come out nearer the date.

If you'd like to come PLEASE LET ME KNOW. emailme

11th December - Calderdale Way Relay - 2nd place for Dark Peak

Over 1000 people took part in this years relay, many of them orienteers looking for something other to do than run at Blacka Moor. Dark Peak Mens team was no doubt the most "orienteer-heavy" team and ended up coming 2nd to Bingley by a mere 17 seconds - this after 50 miles of racing. Heartbreaking. Heartbreaking all the more so since ShUOC's Rob Little, together with Italian stallion Timo Austino had managed to claw back 5 minutes on Bingley on the last leg (and in doing so set a new leg record!). Other ShUOC members to feature in Dark Peak's team were Neil Northrop and Matt Crane who ran the 2nd fastest time of the day (behind 2 internationals from Salford) on 2nd leg to pull up from 9th to 4th, and Andrew Middleditch who ran with Pete Hodges on 3rd leg and held on to 4th place at that point. Rach Elder featured on 2nd leg for the Dark Peak Ladies team who managed to come 3rd.

Results

6th December - Christmas Meal - Fat Cat - by Mat D

As most people know, short speaches are always the best. And the xmas meal didn't disappoint. In the old location of the Fat Cat, the ShUOCers gathered. Xmas fesitivity was ripe and the stomachs were rumbling. The food was awesome as per usual and more importantly, the drink was cheap!

The meal finished and the speech started and stopped. Then the games followed. 2 teams; Middle, Hazel and Will vs. Mark, Lizzie and Rhys.

Mark's team began with the drum, oh what a mistake… banging before each question was even finished!!! The A to Z questions were answered and Middle's team was victorious (even with a essex girl in the team).

Drinking ensued and songs began, with classics including ‘The Andy Middleditch Song', ‘Rob Little, Rob Little' and the funky ‘Will Spain is not from Spain'.

Quality night, quality banter.

26th/27th November - Captain's Memorial Weekend - The Captain's Memories (by Mat D of course)

Saturday: SPOOK Relays

On a freezing cold morning, with the wind chill apparently -5degrees, the first ShUOC vs. SPOOK competition of the weekend began with hard fast and adrenaline packed action at Bole Hill Park. The A's were off first, and unknowingly they had a 3.8km leg for their first 2 legs. They had to basically get down to the Ponderosa and Western Park in their loops, while also rushing through the streets of Walkley and Crookesmoor. Safety Dave, as per usual began the race at 3000mph and his colour blindness didn't help with the first control touching the start triangle, he was bound to make a mistake. Like many others, he ran off into the streets towards the last control not the first. But in the end everyone got it and continued on their way.

The B's also started off going from Bole Hill Park into the streets, and around the park. There was even the challenge of pin-punching with your numb hands, which was tricky.

The race went to plan with John and Steve, the newcomers to the Orienteering lark were doing really well in 3 rd and 4 th position after the first and second legs on the B. The A was a closely contested battle between Mike Sprot and Neil (the Steel Bank Striders), Andy M and Oli (Oli Gunnar) and Chris and Rob L (Its Cold!), only 21 seconds splitting the top 2 teams and the third place only 1 minute down after the last leg!

The B was a close race also, with Hazel going out in 2 nd place, racing against Robin Tett in 1 st and Lizzie A in 3 rd . Unfortunately, like most people, the “significant tree” control was a little harder than expected and Hazel and Mat (H&M) dropped down to 2 nd with Lizzie and Jenny (Dizzy Girls) taking the glory.

Well don't to all teams, a lovely run in the cold conditions, with mixed SPOOK, ShUOC teams winning both classes, it was down to the football and drinking to settle the score… and we all know what happened there!!!

Results can be found here: http://www.martinandlesley.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/spook05/spook-weekend-2005.htm

Saturday Night: SPOOK Meal

Can you get someone to write this please!

Sunday: SPOOK vs. ShUOC

With no Crane or Palmer, the sides were in a stew. Who would be the fairy? Who could actually kick a ball? Who would win the respect?

The game started off with nice banter; Bob using hard tackles to win the ball, Neil diving on the ball at every opportunity. Rhys, the footy captain decided to play himself even with a dodgy knee…

The Xmas tree formation for ShUOC was in good use, with Dave S as the fairy, and there was an early strike by ShUOC's 2004/05 top scorer in the IM League. Ash tried to force it over but it dropped under the bar!

Then there were 2 scrappy goals by SPOOK followed by the shot of the decade by Mr Tom Edwards. A sweet shot from outside the box left Ash with nowhere to run.

2-2… until the last munite…

Rhys felt it deep down, but ShUOC couldn't hold on and SPOOK got the last goal in the nick of time.

Still a good match and a nice warm up for the Memorial later on.

Sunday Night: Captain's Memorial

The drinking event of the weekend.

Free bar (well the SPOOK lot paid).

Awards on the night:

Club Gimp: Dave Bolton
Club Tart: Ashleigh Field (SPOOK)
Best Drunken Stunt: Will Spain and John Davis
Club Bucket: Tom Bridge
Poor Social Decorum: Rhys F-R
Couples winners: Hazel Tant and Mat Dickinson (without the shandy!)
Man of the Match: Mark Bown
The Selfish Award: Andy Middleditch
The Glory Hunter Award: Neil Northrop
Service to Freshers: Rob and Gareth Little

There was a lot of drinking and a lot of shouting… then the Beer Races happened!

SPOOK were dead favourites, lets say, no one dreamed that the Tim Tett and others, ‘2 seconds for a pint' drinking machine team could be beaten…

There were moans about cheating and drinking pints befor eth others had finished but blah blah blah, no one noticed the wetness of people's shirts afterwards?

Then came the claims of not an official win as it wasn't in the Notty… rubbish!

The girls did us proud, out 4 members managed to drink their half-pints and they were only one drink down at the end…awesome, especially as Hazel and Amy had to do 2!

The yards began with John D trying his luck and made an awesome attempt with a 1:37 yard (it was 2 ½ pints rather than the usual 3 and a bit) but still a good time but no where near the Marky record. Then Will attempted in 3 minutes+ and then Gaz, who was trying not to spew…the bucket was there for his tactical chunder at the end!

On to Neil's (etc) house for the afterparty.

It was crampt and there was a keg of pale rider and music, along with armwrestles, where Mark H again, showed his strength to beat the awesome might of Hargreaves and Oli.

27th November - Captain's Memorial

The change of venue had understandably brought with it a few grumbles about tradition and stuff, but Tim Tett in his 27th Captain's Memorial was clearly enjoying himself. That was until about 8.30pm when the unthinkable happened. SPOOK always win the beer race, ShUOC generally try and beat the SPOOK B team. SPOOK then abuse ShUOC about how rubbish they are at drinking and youth of today and all that. Not this year. Wil matched Martin Ward on first leg before Ben had a storming second leg to clench a slight lead from Tim Tett. Real ale John/Kenneth then extended the lead from a poor and disappointing James Grey. The crowd sensed something spectacular was due to happen. Oli Johnson took over the reigns and a steady run against Charlie Adams set Matt Crane off against Roger Lewis. SPOOK gained a bit of ground but Neil Northrop kept his cool and dispatched his pint quicker than... I forget... I was only watching Neil. Cue wild celebrations. I've never hugged so many people. Standing in that line on leg 5 watching ShUOC take the lead made me extremely nervous. Seriously, the heart was banging. After I eventually finished my pint, it all went into slow motion. I turned and shouted, "Goooooo Neeeeiiiiil", then BANG, we've won. "Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssss". Screw winning the British Relays, this was the stuff dreams are made of. I don't really know how our B team got on - I think they may have stopped to join in the celebrations. I wasn't even watching the women's race, although I'm fairly sure SPOOK will have won that one.

Anyway, back to Captain's. Before the beer race, there were the usual prizes and stuff. Ashleigh is Club Tart despite not being in ShUOC, unsurprisingly Rhys got Poor Social Decorum with a whole host of possible reasons, Tom Bridge got a nice bucket, Mark "The Rock" Brown got the football Man of the Match award, Middleditch aptly won the Selfish Award for never passing, John/Kenneth got something, Neil won the Glory Hunter award for only being able to win orienteering races on maps that he made, I think Mat and Hazel were club couple...some other stuff happened.

Then the beer money ran out. I tried to explain that once it was the 7th years round I'd chip in, but apparently all the students had to pay. Ah well. £5 for about 10 pints isn't bad. After that we all went round to Neil's house. It all gets quite hazy here, but I remember being jealous of James looking very cool in skiing goggles and a rasta hat and the beer not coming out of the keg fast enough. Pete's bed got turned over to make way for a dancefloor, spaghetti got in the kettle and oranges in the dishwasher.

The next day we played golf in the snow and lost a lot of (white) balls. Putting with a ring of ice round your ball isn't very easy either. Ashleigh isn't a natural at golf. It was cold. All these things added to me not enjoying it much. Still, seeing a fight was quite funny.

26th November - SPOOK Meal - by Mark Brown

On Saturday evening a small, but perfectly formed, group of ShUOC ventured forth to the SPOOK meal - this year held in the University's postgraduate haven a.k.a. Club 197.  Being a thoroughly civilised affair there was some good
wholesome food, a few quiet pints of ale and a topical quiz.  Entertainment was provided by Richard Guillaume and Andy Preston on Kazoo and Mark Hayman on Air Guitar.  At 11.15 sharp the DJ switched off all the lights and everyone headed home for a good night's sleep.  Or was that stumbled off down the road in search of Hot Pants, I get so easily confused.  At this point I'm probably not the best qualified to tell you what happened, since I was no longer there.  But
having said that, I doubt the people who were there are much better qualified because they were drunk.  I guess we'll just have to let it pass into legend...

26th November - SPOOK Relays - by Rob Little

With Craney not running this year the SPOOK relays looked to be more of an open competition than the previous 2 years. Though with Sprotty choosing Neil ‘I mapped the area' Northrop as his partner he certainly had a chance to retain
the trophy. Though the orienteering/running team of Middleditch and Johnson surely had a chance despite still claims of being crippled by the KIMM. However, first leg on the A relay was won by Dave Sprott in what seemed like
quite a long time (well long enough for 2nd leg runners to freeze!). Martin was probably especially cold waiting in a suit top, but only 10s later Phil returned showing that that leg at least was probably mostly road running. I think I set off 4th about changing over from Chris. The leg took us back down hill via the Ponderosa and Tim Tett's garden before the steep climb back upto Bole Hill. In the parks the courses were gaffled so you didn't quite know what position you were in but I think at the change over we were about 30s behind Neil/Mike. This set the pattern for the next 3 legs with Mike leading Chris and I trying to chase Neil. But Oli is not world class for nothing and team Oli Gunnar were constantly gaining on the leaders. And with a run of 4.81min/km (>30s faster than anyone else) Oli brought them up into second after the final
short leg around Bole Hill. Schnitz and I finished 3rd which in my experience is pretty good for an undergraduate team, but Neil didn't disappoint Mike to maintain first place for them. Slightly further down the field Pete and his Gimp were having a close personal race with Ben and Mark. Eventually James (Gimp) managed to sprint home 10seconds in front of Mark. But there must have been some good running from Ben there in possibly his first proper orienteering event? Not far behind them were the only mixed team of Dave and Charlie. Whilst at the bottom of the field Gareth couldn't even remember which loop he was on (possibly not surprising as he'd been lapped) and Martin got bored waiting for him and Tom so collected the controls in.

I can't say much about the B relay as I wasn't really following it. But It was basically the same as the A race without the first long legs. What I do know is that Jenny and Lizzie won and Mat and Hazel were second, Ash wasn't too impressed with Suzy for not properly punching the finish, and drinkers John and Steve managed to finish.

19th November - Cambridge Sprint-O - by Neil Northrop

Cambridge Sprinto –by Coach

Well what a weekend for Shuoc. To be honest apart from Nottingham we could have been the only uni there.

Started with an early 6am departure –I'd been sat at a computer all night so didn't bother going to bed!

After a stop for an Egg McMuffin we rocked up at about 9.30am. The location –some of Britains premier orienteering terrain –Bromehill Wood in Thetford Forest.

Soon enough the womens first round departed. Hazel bravely took the straight line to her first control though some green.

The mens first round started -I looked at her brave route and proceeded to run round some paths. Anyway that was the order of the day –get to a path and run around.

Anyway most of Shuoc and Sheffield hangers-on qualified.

We then moved starts to a different bit of the map –it looked a little more interesting but probably wasn't.

The Mens B Final was won by Ashleigh by a few minutes, and John did well too.

Hazel won the Girls Final, I won the Mens in a Shuoc 1, 2, 3, 4 well done chaps.

Now it was time for the race that really counts –the Elite Alc-o. Most of Shuoc except the drivers lined up for some drinking and running. It was disappointing that out of 60 people only 15 did the alc-o and 10 of them were from Shuoc.

Anyway there was nothing special about the map –except that a few contols weren't on any feature at all. Little Rob and Mr Spain gave me a run for my money. The punch was rubbish. Will did a catmur chunder. Bolton made a tit of himself by doing a 180 on his second lap with everyone watching –me, rob and will had finished by then!

Back to Cambridge in a rather pissed state, with an interesting convoy toilet stop against the fence at RAF Alconbury. Quick showers and down to curry house –which was rubbish. Moved onto the Forum -a shed in Jesus college for the social. It was all a bit dull as only Shuoc seemed to be up for getting drunk. Prizes were awarded –one yard of Cadburys fingers for my belly. And the Alco prize of a bottle of wine was duly dispatched in strawpeado style.

To be honest I can't remember much after that but I woke up the next day and didn't have any shoes??

12th November - Dark Peak Club Champs

Neil Northrop won the handicap race (insert own joke here) and Rob Little got lost and came last (insert own joke here).

6th November - Stanton Moor District Event - by Mat

Full orienteering kit: £150.
Travel to Matlock: £5
Entry for brown course: £2
Northrop coming 4th behind Wardy, Bown and an old man: priceless.

As orienteers you hope that the morning that you wake up for an event, the sun will be shining and the sky will be blue. Not that it was the worst rain in about a week and it was that cold outside that the windows in your house had condensation on them!

Never mind, we drove out to the event travelling at slow speeds due to the spray on the roads, through all the puddles (i like being a rally driver) and even a ford coming from Ringinglow to the A625!!

The car park, when we arrived looked like a farmers field, with all the ploughing marks on the grass. Unfortunatly, this was just the other cars churning up the ground for us to wheel spin into position. (alright for those with 4x4's!) Then the news arrived that I was to do the Yvette Baker Trophy (as I am still an M20). So basically I had to run the Green course, as opposed to the brown to which I was tending towards.

The course was nice and runnable apart from large areas of heather and the intricate parts of the map were avoided (as it was a junior course). Still no's 1, 2, 6 and 12 were still hard enough for me to make mistakes on. This was due to poor contour reading on the map or the fact that the map I was reading was over 8 years old! Nevertheless I managed to scrape a win in the YBT for DVO.

ShUOC Performances: Hazel came 2nd on the Blue and there was a flurry of ShUOCers on the Brown: Mark Bown in 2nd, Neil in 4th, Jon S in 9th, Eleanor (ex ShUOC captain) 13th, Blanka in 24th, and unfortunatly Tom Bridge got disqualified.

Overall a really nice event followed by the largeest meal I have ever seen afterwards in the Little John Pub, Hathersage. The cumberland sausage, however, remains uneaten to this moment - a shame, I feel my captaincy is now in tatters.

Ed: one ShUOC performance Mat fails to mention is Rob Little's impressive 11th on the brown.

29th/30th October - KIMM 2005

When Schnitzy put a post up last week on the ShUOC forum looking for a partner in the B class (his having dropped out), it was largely met with derision and ridicule. No-one would be daft enough to join him surely? After all this is the KIMM - cold, wet, lonely, long and frickin hard work. Obviously the best part of 2 days with Sellens would be a lovely experience, but the whole running and sleeping in a tent thing wouldn't. I digress. There is one person stupid enough in ShUOC to join him - Rob Little. He did just that and, lo, they won. I guess that isn't too much of a surprise though considering Rob won the A class last year - most people would move up a level, to the elite, but Rob was happy pot-hunting on the B - anyone can win the B... But to be fair their winning margin was massive and the lads did us proud.

2 people in ShUOC who have tasted success in the "lesser" (NB. inverted commas cos they're still a chuffin long way) classes and who made that daring leap up to the elite class were Andy Middleditch and Oli Johnson. They've been doing a lot of hard work over the past few weeks and it looks like it paid off - not only did they finish (impressive in itself), but they finished 4th - this in an extremely strong field. Having been out for the best part of 8 hours on the first day and lying in 8th, an awesome (fastest?) 2nd day pulled them up to the 4th position.

Also from ShUOC, Rhys Findlay-Robinson fared well to come in in 11th in the C class in what was his first ever KIMM.

Hopefully we'll get some accounts and amusing anecdotes from those involved either on here (email me) or on the ShUOC forum or maybe on Oli's website or planetfear perhaps. Who knows.